Life Changes

For ten years off and on I have been seeing someone... It was good, it was bad.... but now, a few days before my life changing surgery, it's done. I'll miss him, I know I will, even as I write this I'm in tears, but I can't be with someone I know is sleeping with someone else. I know how it feels to be betrayed, be cheated on.... and I can't do that... but what if.... no one ever wants to be with me? Being fat my whole life shielded me from most people,  guys walk by and yell "Ewww! FAT PIG!".... but when the weight is all gone after surgery... how will I know for sure who the losers are? After this... relationship fail, how can I even trust a man again? Why would I even want to?

Optifast Day 2

Yesterday was Day 1 of Optifast, and lemme just say its a mixed bag. One sip will be ok, not too bad.... The next sip tastes like a rusted metal bar in your mouth, melting on your tongue. So to combat the filthy flavours, I took to adding some decaf coffee (which also tastes like rusty metal bars)... It improved the flavour (a bit), but leaves this horrible metal flavour in your mouth.

They say if you have the gross flavour on your tongue, brush your teeth and tongue, BUT IT DOESN'T HELP!!!!! So, this is now Day 2 of 14 (yeah 14 days of nothing but this stuff).... and I'm not sure how I'll handle the metal tongue, but we shall see!!!

13 Days til surgery.