Putting Away The Vanity...

“Vanity and pride are different things, though the words are often used synonymously. A person may be proud without being vain. Pride relates more to our opinion of ourselves, vanity to what we would have others think of us.”
― Jane Austen

At first this blog was going to be about my pride, but then I realized that vanity is truly my issue here.  As I posted yesterday, surgical stuff is piling up, and it is ALL one big financial problem... The suggestion? Setting up a GoFundMe account, and asking for help from the people I know... I said "Well I would, but how would I put down my pride to beg for that kind of help?"

Alas, it is not pride, it is vanity. I am not worried about MY thoughts of me, only the thoughts of everyone who would SEE the GoFundMe page... The thoughts of the people I see around town who would know what a tough financial situation I am in... I would be forever afraid of how they would see me after begging for help to get me to the surgery I need to become healthy, and get back to work, and school... Yes I am doing the surgery to get healthy, fix my many many health problems, but what if they don't see it that way? What if they see it as a beggar begging? I don't ever want people to see me that way.

So tell me, dear friends... Should I just go ahead, and put away my vanity to ask for your help, or should I struggle, and fall back upon my vanity and just try again next year?

~ Full of Vanity and Pride

Ali